Year-in-Review: The 10 Most Commented Posts of 2009

My friend Dennis Taylor has a great blog, sprezzatura! http://dctadvisors.wordpress.com/, and it is the inspiration for this post -- I thought his taking the time to analyze the Top 10 most viewed posts from his first year of blogging was an interesting idea. http://dctadvisors.wordpress.com/2009/12/24/year-in-review-ten-most-view-posts/

My first post was April 13, 2009 -- I got started really to break the isolation of staying at home with a newborn. Since then, this blog has become much more than that for me, and I hope you've had some fun along with me over the past few months.

I don't track the views, but I do track comments. Let's take a trip down memory lane and see what we learn, shall we? Here's what got people exchanging ideas:

#6 Scarletts and Melanies (October 30) tied with How you Look, How You Feel (June 22)

My female readers could really relate to feeling the big "UGH" after having a baby and wanting to set goals to feel better. They also had a few things to say about how extreme characterizations of female personality are interpreted and misinterpreted on film and in real life.

#5 Meeting Needs, Sustaining Shadows (December 28)

I appreciated the acknowledgement that responding to stereotypes is not always a slam-dunk easy answer. Once more into the breach, dear West Virginians!

#4 The Skinny Branch (December 3)

When Tiger Woods fell from the heavens, I think we all were a little more troubled that we expected. This post was a challenge for me to write, but I'm glad I did. Thanks to all who were brave enough to comment.

#3 Fly Away Home (June 17)

It's uber popular to talk about "keeping our kids in West Virginia." It's less popular to talk about letting them leave. I'm grateful to all who wrestled with this one.

#2 The Tattoo and the Beach (June 1)


This is where I learned that I was, in fact, being an idiot. I'm over 40 years old. I need to get a grip. Mucho props to those who shared their tattoo confessions and resolutions.


#1 Something Wicked This Way Comes (May 29)

Sometimes you just are plain surprised by what people want to talk about....I really just posted this for myself to purge my own frustration with unhealthy marketing and products for young children. I found out I'm not alone, but also that not everyone views what I think of as plainly problematic as a big deal. I'd say what I ultimately learned is that this problem is on a slippery slope -- there are individual small things that incrementally add up to big issues, and by the time you're avalanched at the bottom of the hill it's too late.

Let's be careful out there, everyone. Wishing you a 2010 full of authenticity, peace, and understanding. Thanks for reading Esse Diem. It means a lot to me.

Meeting Needs, Sustaining Shadows

Last week there was a bit of drama in the blogosphere about some ugly stereotyping of West Virginia. You can find all the details on one of my favorite blogs, A Better West Virginia:

http://www.abetterwestvirginia.com/2009/12/23/nbc-washington-not-the-first-to-bash-west-virginia/

(Though it was a negative event, it also led me to this blog, which is also becoming a favorite: Girl of Words, http://www.girlofwords.com/?p=3001.)

It all got me thinking about the phenomenon of people needing something badly enough to invent it, or at the very least to sustain it long past the point of its hey day. Why exactly does the general public need West Virginia to be a wasteland of ignorant hillbillies?

Who knows? My guess is it's just the same dynamic that drives this kind of thing for all stereotypes -- it creates the illusion of simplicity in a complex world, and makes it "easier" to navigate relationships and situations by discounting the uniqueness of every person and every place. It also feeds a desire to reinforce the idea that "the other" is inferior, and "we" are superior.

Frankly, this illusion means we don't have to work as hard at anything as we would if we were negotiating unique realities on a regular basis. Most of the time, I think we let this stuff go. No one has the energy to fight stereotypes all the time, it's just too exhausting. We roll our eyes, or actually laugh in the recognition of some truth at the foundation of each type, or we get angry but usually we just move on. Not so this time. There is such a thing as going too far, and Christopher Needham went too far.

I'm proud of the bloggers and others who took him to task for his hateful and untrue rant. I'm also interested in watching how we West Virginians who are focused on the future here will learn to balance keeping our nose to the grindstone with being distracted by ignorant morons who want to nail us to the past.

The Best Blogs You're Not Reading Yet

A few weeks ago I received the honor of the "You're Blog is Over the Top" award from TRConnie over at http://wvfurandroot.wordpress.com/ and I've been remiss in my duty to pay it forward.

I'll start by giving it back to TRConnie, because her blog WV Fur and Root is a real treat. I've come to believe her personal hideway is a corner of my own mind, a room where I can really go from time to time to both escape my own realities as well as find comfort in our shared human experiences.

Here are a few more of my faves. Never enough time to read them all as often as I would like, but all have tremendous value in their own unique ways. Check them out:

Health Care Law Blog: http://healthcarebloglaw.blogspot.com/ Bob Coffield is a dynamo at bringing social media, health care policy, and the law together in interesting and relevant ways for even a lay person. You may be surprised to realize how much you want and need to know about this intersection.

The Rainmaking Blog: http://rainmakingblog.blogspot.com/ Pat Kelly, dynamo deux, has a credential-encrusted resume a mile long, and yet hits the sweet spot with practical advice on business success for a range of professionals; from name tag placement to social media to who's looking at your shoes and why, he brings a wealth of value to all of us, regardless of your field or level in it.

Learning and Technology - A Blog for Reflection: http://leekraus.blogspot.com/ You know all those cool new things about applying technology to the learning process that you wish you were wonky enough to keep up with? Lee Kraus will do it for you! I love his "about me" -- "I'm interested in technology, education, and family." That's Dr. Kraus. Also a helluva great guy.

Bad Leader: http://www.badleader.net/ This is my latest obsession. I've been waiting for something like this for awhile without realizing exactly what was missing out there......what to do is all well and good, but sometimes we can learn as much or more from what NOT to do and why. Tight, to-the-point posts on missteps and wrong turns at the top that exemplify the old addage, "If you can't be a good example, you can at least be a horrible warning."

Professional Studio 365: http://professionalstudio365.com/ Emily Bennington is that person you want to be, even if just for a day to see what it's like to always be smart, coiffed, and funny! No pressure, right Em? I love her committed focus to young professionals and she's just at the perfect stage of her life to inspire the very young who want to evolve, as well as the not-really-so-young who want to resurrect their ideals.

In closing, I'm becoming more fond of those blogs that don't try to gross me out or shock me, but that seem genuinely interested in making the world a better place.

These bloggers do that, and for that I say Thank You.

The Envelope, Please.......

I recently received the Bella Blog Award for “One Lovely Blog” from Connie at http://www.wvfurandroot.wordpress.com/. Simply put, it made my day! The rules say I must pay it forward to other blogs, I presume so they can feel as good as I did when Fur and Root passed it on to me, so here goes:

A Better West Virginia http://www.abetterwestvirginia.com/

I really like what tends to happen on this blog. Serious issues are brought up and commented upon intelligently but not hatefully or in a destructive way. Readers of this blog tend to express themselves coherently and with respect toward other people, even in disagreement. This can be a rare dynamic as people strive to improve WV, and I credit this blogger’s careful tone and approach with turning out positive e-conversation.

Eclectic Glob of Tangential Verbosity http://www.eronel.blogspot.com/

I’ve been following this blogger since I found her on Twitter, also following @Hillsborough, a beautiful town where I spent an unforgettable decade of my life. Her profile says, “I'm a scatterbrained, mischievous, incorrigible, silly, cynical, optimistic pessimist, with a flair for worrying and obfuscation. My writing is rarely negative. Reading between the lines is an exercise left for the reader.” I love her combination of an academic mind with art, food, and nature. I regret I did not know her when we were in the same part of the world.

Little Stomaks http://www.littlestomaks.com/ “Science Driven Real Life Toddler Nutrition”

Written by a dad of toddler twins. This man loves his children, and clearly loves children period. Addresses range of issues, from childhood obesity to how to safely introduce your little one to sushi. The global toddler profiles of kids around the world and what they eat are great.

Moving Momentarily http://www.movingmomentarily.com/ “Why We Love Hate the Metro”

All about the real relationship DC has with the metro, if you have ever travelled by metro in our nation’s capital, you will be entertained! From metro surfing to tourist angst to crazy drunks, this is a lot of fun.

I’m the Chez http://www.imthechez.blogspot.com/ “I Am the Chez, and You Are the Macaroni”

A 30-something blogger opens up about friendship, family, co-workers, and crazy blind dates. Don’t miss her tribute to her grandfather, one of the most lovely expressions of love and pain over the loss of a loved one I’ve ever read. If that makes you cry, just read the blind date story and you will be cracking up in no time.

Kitchen Geeking http://www.kitchengeeking.com/ “The Act of Feeding Your Belly by Way of the Awesome Fury of My Cooking”

I fell in love with this blog when he wrote about Amazon.com selling a whole cooked chicken in a can for $50. I also loved it when he had readers put together his grocery list after not having shopped for months. An absolute riot, balanced by reflections on family meals and lust for specific food.

Hillbilly Homo http://www.hillbillyhomo.blogspot.com/ “The life and times of a Small Town Boy turned Big City Boy turned Small Town Homo again. Politics, life, a diary, and maybe some outright whining.”

Observations and analysis of the finer points in gay image, portrayal, and interpretation in today’s media. I really like his willingness to say, “I saw this, I read this, this is how it made me feel and why. Are you paying attention?” He draws connections between overlooked oppressions in everyday culture that are invaluable.

Eat Cookies. Be Quiet. http://www.ecbq.blogspot.com/

Blossoming fantasy writer and middle school teacher extraordinaire reviews books, makes summer reading recommendations…….and oh yes, is a dear friend of The EDG.

Create WV http://www.createwv.com/ “Building Creative Communities for the New Economy”

No one, but no one, has ever grabbed the bull by the horns when it comes to driving change on a grand scale like this initiative. That’s right, this is about completely revising the state’s economy away from dependence on extractive industry and towards productivity from the power of ideas. If you love WV, or if you are concerned about a state struggling to break free from old constructs, this is for you.

Now, dear winners, it’s your turn! Share the glory, and let us know who you think deserves The Bella.

Hard

There are a lot of us out there blogging these days, and I’ve been learning to appreciate other people’s styles. I think a lot about how it is incredible anyone does this at all. It’s rather, as they say, “out there.”

I notice especially the difference in tone between women in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and beyond. There are even digital bumper stickers for blogs saying “I’m a 20-something Blogger” or “I’m a 30-something Blogger.” I didn’t really get it at first, but now I think it’s a road sign, a fair warning of where this woman is on her journey, so buckle that seatbelt gentle reader. You may be in for a wild ride.

It is not a matter of policy, but so far I don’t read 20-something blogs on a regular basis. I suppose I’m just so well past that phase that I don’t connect in real time. I do connect retroactively, and frankly it’s rather painful. Thus the non-read……. I respect what they are going through, but heavens, once is enough. My twenties felt a lot like being blindfolded and asked to drive a familiar car down an unfamiliar street. Exciting, dangerous, and clueless. From what I can tell, not much has changed. There is a hard edge to much of this writing, and I know why. They are earning it every day. It’s all a challenge, opening up in any way. I don’t think the vulnerability required by revelatory writing is appealing to most very young women; their writing is a protective shell, a striking back.

The 30-something bloggers are still relevant and lovely to me. They have that life-is-funny edge, but the life is FUN piece is getting smaller in the rearview mirror. They have this beautiful analysis in real time that is heartbreaking and touching and educational all at once.

Beyond the 30s, I read less real time analysis and more soulful reflection. There is less anger, more acceptance, and a coming to peace with self and the world that balances out the chaos of other decades. I don’t know when wisdom kicks in, but maybe the 40s are the foundation for getting there. It certainly seems like it when I read this group’s work.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, keep going.